He who finds a wife………
Times have changed, wouldn’t you say? Everything is different from when I was growing up in Baltimore. I remember going outside with my friends and jumping rope or playing hopscotch. Or how about dodge ball, which was my all time favorite. Then there was softball, red light, hide and go seek and tag. Remember penny candy, jacks and the hula hoop? Even food tastes different now. People are different. Children are different. Everything is different; to include how people date and who pursues whom?
Maybe I’m old school. Maybe I’m out of touch as the young people would say. But the thought of pursuing a man and God women proposing to men, just does not seem natural. As a single woman in the year 2015 I want to be pursued. The scripture says ‘he who finds a wife.’ Now I’m not a theologian and I’ve never claimed to know a lot (if anything at all), but those five little words indicate to me that my husband is suppose to find me. It means he is to actively pursue me. Any other way just seems odd and since I’ve decided to stop doing this dating thing my way, but rather do it God’s way, I expect nothing less than what God says I deserve.
First off, it’s just not natural for a woman to pursue a man. It goes against God and his word. God has designed women to want to be pursued and in the same way has designed men to want to pursue. It is in their nature. They are natural born hunters. I want to be romanced. I want the man to come in and sweep me off my feet. So I’ll wait. I’ll let God handle it.
“The man leads the woman onto the ice and initiates each part of their routine. She receives that leadership and trusts in his strength. His raw physical strength is more on display than hers; he does all the lifting, twirling, and catching. She complements his strength with her own—a more diminutive and more attractive strength of beauty, grace, speed, and balance. His focus as the head, or leader, is to magnify her skills. Her focus is on following his lead and signaling her readiness to receive his next move. He takes responsibility for the two of them, and she trusts his leadership and delights in it” (John Ensor, Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart).
Secondly, and this may seem strange, I’m really not waiting on a man to pursue me. I am however waiting on God. I’m in a great place in my life right now. I have been through the fire and He has brought me out as pure gold. I have peace. I wake up every morning with joy. I have people who love me. God is bringing out the best in me. He is preparing me to be a wife and in his perfect time he will allow my path to cross with my husband.
Third, I believe that as a man actively pursues me, he is demonstrating to me that he is capable of leading me and loving me well after the pomp and circumstance of the wedding, but for better and worse. It is in his active pursuit of me that I will see those all important characteristics; (1) Stewardship, (2) Love, (3) Leadership, (4) Service, and (5) Communication.
Finally, and most importantly, I am already loved completely by the Greatest man who has ever lived. In my growing, one of the greatest lessons I learned is that I do not have to search for love, or seek to find my worth in a man.
“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness” (Jeremiah 31:3)
God loves me unconditionally. He loved me so much that he gave his Son as a sacrifice for me. He died that I might live. He died for me!! He loves me through my best and my worse. He loved me when I was his enemy and he loves me when I act like his enemy. I’m reminded in his word “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).
Because I know who I am in Christ, I no longer need to find myself in a man. A husband being added to my life will only complement it.