Monthly Archives: August 2015

From The Mountaintop To The Valley

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From The Mountaintop To The Valley

Life's JourneyLife has a way of going from 60 (a mountaintop experience) to 0 (a valley experience) in a matter of minutes. Or as someone so eloquently stated, “Life can go from sugar to shit (if that offends, my apologies; but it’s a very real, very raw, very right now emotion) in the blink of an eye.” I guess this is why we are warned about having a haughty spirit; or thinking that we are above reproach.  I am reminded of the Prophet Isaiah, “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. “ (Isaiah 54:17).

I love this scripture because it reminds that no matter the obstacle, trial, or challenge it shall not prosper in my life.  It shall not have final and ultimate prosperity in my life.  It might be allowed for a time to appear that it has prospered, but there will not be final and complete success.  That is an encouraging word.  But what’s even more encouraging are the words of my pastor; “not even the weapons I may form against myself.” Bad decisions, bad choices, no matter the weapon it will not prosper.  I know the devil believed that somehow the events of this week would somehow defeat me.  I understand ultimately he wants to steal my joy, steal my peace, and infiltrate my mind with thoughts that go against the word of God; but I’ve gone through and came out of too much in my life to lie down in defeat.  No, lying down in defeat is not an option because I am well aware of what Chris Tomlin sings in his song “Our God.”

Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other. And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us. And if our God is with us, then what could stand against. And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us. And if our God is with us, then what could stand against.

Who could ever stop me? No one! What could stand against me? Nothing! Because I know that my God is for me I stand firmly on the truth that no one can ever stop me and nothing can stand against me.  Like Joseph, what the enemy meant for evil, God will turn around for my good.  The Apostle Paul encourages me through his words, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” What does that mean? All things — Such as worldly losses or gains, poverty or riches, reproach or commendation, contempt or honour, pain or ease, sickness or health, and the ten thousand changes of life; Work together — Strongly and sweetly, in a variety of unthought-of and unexpected ways; for spiritual and eternal good to them — Who, being justified by faith, and having peace with God, and access into a state of favour and acceptance with him, sincerely love him, having beheld what manner of love he hath bestowed upon them!  So no matter what has transpired, its all working together for my good. Only good will come from this.

Therefore, I’m down for a minute, but don’t blink because I only know how to continue to rise.

The Problem With Potential

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Be sure to marry the person, not their potential.” ~ How to Cultivate a Marriage Mindset

PotentialI am sure I am not the only person who has said and/or been told that the person they are dating has potential. I have said it on numerous occasions with confidence and somehow convinced myself that this person would make a good mate for me. But what exactly did I mean when I said he had potential? Was I saying he had the potential to be more than he is? Was I saying he had the potential, at some point, to be everything I needed him to be? And was I so foolish in my thought process to think that I could help me reach his potential?

I can’t give you everything right now. I don’t know how much I could give you, but I know it wouldn’t be everything, and I know you deserve everything.” ~ Unknown

As I have shared in previous blogs I am on a journey of healing and allowing God to prepare me for my #FutureHusband. I have been reading a book titled How to Cultivate a Marriage Mindset and a quote from the book inspired this blog.

Be sure to marry the person, not their potential.”

What exactly does the author mean? Shouldn’t my #FutureHusband have potential? Shouldn’t I marry a person who showed the potential to grow and change, even if the potential is not obvious in the beginning? This was something I’ve read and been taught over the years and now the author is telling me it’s all been a lie. I guess this wouldn’t be the first bit of information I thought to be true only to learn it was not, but I digress.

As I contemplated that statement, I thought of myself; what potential do I have? Should someone decide to marry me based off my potential alone and is that enough? Well, while I agree that my #FutureHusband should have potential, I must also understand that my decision to marry him should not be based off what or who I think he can become. Now, hear me out. Everyone has the potential to be great; to be someone. God gives us gifts, talents, and abilities to do amazing things. But unless we use those gifts, talents and abilities and apply ourselves, all we will ever have is potential. We have to want it in order to realize it and if we don’t want it, if we only continue to wear our potential like a badge of honor on our chest, then the potential has been wasted. So as the author pointed out in the book, it is important that when choosing a mate that we find that balance between accepting a person for who they are, but being willing to help them change (reach their potential) IF they desire to. Because at the end of the day I have to decide should my #FutureHusband not desire to change, grow or be better, can I love them forever right where they are.

Be sure to marry the person, not the potential.”

As I consider my last dating relationship I can say he had the potential to change. But the potential was slow to show itself. I could have changed how I looked at certain things, but in the end how exactly would that have benefitted me? It would not have. I would have accepted behaviors that had the potential to change, but probably would not have changed, thus leaving me unhappy, frustrated, disappointed and angry; more so than they already had.

That is how potential works. Its fly by night. It’s not something that we can grab a hold of; and it’s a weak excuse for a relationship. He had the potential to give me his heart. He had the potential to make me his priority. He had the potential to give me what I needed. He had the potential to be fully present in the relationship. But unfortunately what was being shown to me in the present was not the same as potential and thus our love would have been tragic (to borrow a line from The Weekend). We all have the potential to change, but hanging around and waiting to see the manifestation of those changes is a complete waste of precious time if you are not happy in the present moment.

Hip-hop artist Eve taught us that we should be ride-or-die chicks. But really there is nothing admirable about that quality. Rarely will a person gain respect by staying with someone that they believe can change while they continue to be miserable. There is nothing honorable about that. That is called being blind to reality.