My first few years walking with God were amazing. I was on fire for God. I wanted to tell everyone about Jesus. God was teaching me and speaking to me in ways that was blowing my mind. I found myself asking, “what took me so long?!” I was building a relationship with God and my love for him was growing each day.
Once I returned home from Texas I began to attend church regularly. I knew I needed to find and join a church so that I could continue to grow in Christ. Ironically, I did not want to join my parents church. I honestly did not want any influence in my walk. I wanted to learn and grow on my own. So I visited a number of churches in Baltimore trying to decide where I would plant myself.
But God had other plans…..
The Spirit was leading me to my parents church. I knew it. I could feel it. I tried to resist, but it became quite obvious that God wanted me where I didn’t necessarily want to be. So, one Sunday while attending service with my mother, I decided to join First Mt. Olive Freewill Baptist Church. As you can imagine my mother was ecstatic. And I was pretty happy myself. Bishop Oscar E. Brown is a great man of God and I grew and learned so much under his leadership. I also gleaned from Bishop Walter Scott Thomas, pastor of New Psalmist Baptist Church. I was growing. I was being changed. I was learning. And I was loving it! But, there were still challenges.
I found myself struggling in the very areas I wanted to “fix” first. I found myself in the midst of a battle that I did not understand fully. I knew I was becoming a new creature in Christ, but the old me refused to die. But I continued to press. I was learning that I was not equipped to “fix” anything.
So I continued to immerse myself into my new life. I continued to attend church. I continued to read my bible. I continued to study. I continued to pray. Yet all the while the enemy was reminding me…..trying to convince me…..that I wasn’t different. I was the same person as before. It was then the enemy of my soul became real to me.
The enemy pursues me,
he crushes me to the ground;
he makes me dwell in the darkness
like those long dead. ~ Psalm 143:3