He Knows The Plans He Has For Me

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He Knows The Plans He Has For Me

Have you ever watched someone die? It’s agonizing. It’s gut wrenching. It’s life altering. I don’t know why God would make that part of my story. I have asked the question but never received a clear answer. Whatever the reasoning, I wish that on no one. Not even my worse enemy.

After receiving the call that my dad died, I had to go to the hospital. When I arrived the nurse told me she had just come on shift. When she went in to check on him, he took his last breathe. She said she held his hand as he transitioned.

She gave me time to say goodbye. I sat by his bed and cried. I finally got up, kissed him on his forehead and told him he could now be with mommy. As the nurse and doctors came in to prep my dad to be transported, I began to make calls. I called Don Brown Funeral Home; the same funeral home that handled my mother’s funeral. They remembered me and reassured me that they would handle everything. I called family and friends. I notified my dad’s job. I went over the checklist in my mind until I headed back home.

A few hours later Charles from the funeral home called to let me know they had my dad’s body and that I could come in the next day to start making arrangements.

I was drained. I was tired. I was sad. Not even two years after burying my mother, I was now faced with the daunting task of planning my dad’s funeral. This time seemed easier. Maybe because I had been here before. Whatever it was, I am forever grateful for the outpouring of love and support that I received from loved ones. I am also grateful to Don Brown’s Funeral Home for their outstanding service, thoughtfulness, and compassion in planning my parents funeral.

Just as I did for my mom, I spoke at my dad’s funeral. Again, you never know how strong you are until you need to be. It was a lovely service and burial as the United States Army paid tribute to my dad and presented the family with a flag in his honor.

After the last guest had left I was again left alone to deal with the grief. By this time my mom had come to me in a dream to let me know everything would be just fine. But I had no job. I had no money. And I had two months to vacate my parents apartment. I wasn’t sure where I was going or what I was going to do. I just knew I did not want to go back to Philadelphia. I rationalized that this was all part of God’s plan. So I planned to throw caution to the wind and move to Washington DC. I had a plan. Find a job. Find an apartment. Start a new life.

I had a plan….it just did not line up with God’s plan.

 

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About Shannon Robinson

Shannon Robinson Born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland (Go Ravens!!!), I discovered early on that I am very opinionated and passionate about my opinions. This has brought on the realization for me that I think differently from most people and it took some time for me to come to grips with that unique side of me. Writing for me is often an escape. A place I can go with my thoughts and opinions and not have to concern myself with offending anyone or not agreeing with someone. My thoughts and opinions are mine and God’s and I know that He doesn’t judge me on them. My writing is a personal journey that allows me to be transparent with self (and sometimes others) as I believe that nothing I have experienced or gone through on this journey called life was meant for me to keep to myself. Somewhere there is another woman who is experiencing or has experienced the very same things, thoughts, and feelings I have and it is my prayer that my story in some small way helps her to see that she too can come through. While at the same time giving God glory for his wondrous works. I appreciate you for stopping by and sharing in my journey as I try my absolute best to navigate it as smoothly as possible; even when I come across detours and bumps along the way. ~ Hotep

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