Trust Is More Important Than Understanding

Trust Is More Important Than Understanding

It is easy to trust God and have faith the size of a mustard seed when everything in your life is going well. But trusting him and walking by faith when you have been stripped of everything, when your back is against the wall, when the only thing you have is God, is quite a different story. This is where I was. I was fighting to trust God every day. I was fighting the devil for my peace. I was fighting the devil for my joy. I was fighting the devil for my hope. I was in round 12 of a knock down drag out fight with the devil. But I could hear God saying…..

Do not be afraid or discouraged…. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.” 

Upon returning to Philadelphia I stayed for a brief moment with a sister-in-Christ. I was looking for employment in Philadelphia when the fuel pump in my car cracked. It was going to cost me $1000.  This was not what I needed. I needed my car. I had no money and no idea how I was going to get my car fixed. “JESUS HELP!!”

Shortly thereafter I received a call from a friend. She was calling to inform me I had mail at her home. Because I left Philadelphia so abruptly and relocated to North Carolina, there wasn’t much time to complete a change of address.  So she continued to collect my mail for me. My friend goes on to tell me that she was going through junk mail that needed to be shredded when she came across an envelope with my name on it. She told me that she was about to toss it in the shred pile but God said, “Open it.” She said she hoped I didn’t mind but she opened it and it was a check from my bank for $1500. I said a check? From what bank? She told me the name. I said that’s my bank but are you sure it’s a check? She said yes. I found a ride to her house and just as she said there was a check for me in the amount of $1500! I could not believe my eyes! I called my bank to verify that the check was legitimate and it was.  I could not believe it! I was not expecting a check, let alone a check for $1500!!

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”

I was so grateful and thankful!!  The song says “He may not come when you want him but he’s always right on time,” and God was right on time with that unexpected blessing!  I was able to have my car repaired and purchase some items that I needed.

My job search continued.  I reached out to a friend/former colleague at Temple University who hired me to work part time in an after school program.  I also was offered part-time work as a security officer with the help of another friend.  So just like that I went from no job to two jobs in a few months!!  I moved in with my sister and continued to work two part time jobs.  A few months later the Lord spoke to me and said, “It is time to get your own place.” I said Lord are you serious?  Do you know how much money I don’t make? I can’t afford to have my own place right now.  I need more money.  The Lord responded with……

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

I still was not confident in my ability to maintain an apartment.  When I calculated what I was bringing home between the two part time jobs, it just did not seem as though it were enough.  But I was learning to trust God and to step out on faith.  I was learning to not depend on my own ability or understanding. But to trust in a God who had a proven track record.

A neighbor from my previous neighborhood reached out to a friend and told her that the apartment upstairs from him was available.  He asked her if she knew anyone that was in the market for an apartment and she called me.  Just like that, without having to do any research, God dropped an apartment in my lap.  It was unreal. But the bible tells me that God does all things well.  So I completed the application and made an appointment to pay the required deposit and pick up the keys to my apartment.  I loved the sound of that….my apartment.  I was beyond excited! The storm clouds were slowly breaking and things were beginning to look up.

Three days before I was scheduled to pick up the keys to my apartment I received a call from a company I had applied to while living in Washington DC.  After three interviews with this agency they decided to go with another candidate.  However, that candidate decided not to stay and they wanted to know if I was still interested.  Of course I was interested! However the hiring manager wanted me to come in for another interview.  I explained to her that I had moved to Philadelphia and asked if we could do the interview over the telephone.  She said they really wanted to meet with me in person.  I explained to her that I was scheduled to pick up keys to my apartment on the day that she wanted me to come in for the interview.  I wanted to know was this a job offer before I made a decision.  She explained to me this was not a job offer and that a decision would be made once they met with me.  I was faced with a serious dilemma.  I had to pray about it.  So I told her I would let her know within 24 hours.

I weighed my options carefully.  I really wanted to live in the DMV and this agency was one of the jobs I was really excited about.  On the other hand, I needed an apartment.  I had been without a home of my own for too long and I was afraid to take the chance of turning down the apartment and not being offered the position for a second time.  I prayed about it.  I slept on it.  And when I woke up the next morning, I telephoned the agency and told them I would have to decline.  Some would think that was the wrong decision.  However, I had peace about it and that was enough for me.  One week later I moved into my own apartment.  I cannot adequately explain the overwhelming feeling of gratefulness that came over me when I received the keys.  I could not stop crying and thanking God for his faithfulness.

Life was returning to some sense of normalcy.  I was working again and I had my own place.  I was offered a full time position with the security company which I gladly accepted.  I was named employee of the quarter. And then five months later I was offered another full time position with another company.  A job I didn’t even apply for.  My supervisor said he liked me and wanted me to have it.  God, you better stop playing with me!!  God was restoring me and I was so grateful.  I still was not at the salary range I was before I was laid off but I had my own and there is nothing like the feeling of having your own.

Before I started my new full-time job I received a call from an agency in Washington DC that I had applied to for employment.  They wanted me to come in for a third interview.  To be honest, I had forgotten about this position; I applied in April 2012 and here it was September 2013.  I debated driving to the DMV for the interview. My rationalization was if God wanted me in the DMV I would still be there.  But I didn’t have peace about not going so I said why not; if nothing else its good practice.  The interview went well and I was told that I would be notified by Thanksgiving.  So I started my new full time job and gave no more thought to the position in DC.

Thanksgiving came and went and I had not heard anything about the position in DC.  I was still in search of a better paying position so I continued to look in Philadelphia.  A friend told me about an open position with her company, to which I applied.  A few weeks later my friend called me and asked had I applied to the position.  I said yes.  She said the hiring manager said they did not receive my resume.  I told my friend that I received a confirmation number via email.  I logged into my email to get the confirmation number for my friend when I saw it; an email from DC Superior Court.  My heart skipped a beat.  I hesitated opening it.  It was probably another rejection and if it was it would not sting as bad as the others.  I clicked on the email and read these words…

We have been trying to reach you.  We want to make you an offer for the position you applied for with DC Superior Court.


About Shannon D. Robinson

Shannon Robinson Born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland (Go Ravens!!!), I discovered early on that I am very opinionated and passionate about my opinions. This has brought on the realization for me that I think differently from most people and it took some time for me to come to grips with that unique side of me. Writing for me is often an escape. A place I can go with my thoughts and opinions and not have to concern myself with offending anyone or not agreeing with someone. My thoughts and opinions are mine and God’s and I know that He doesn’t judge me on them. My writing is a personal journey that allows me to be transparent with self (and sometimes others) as I believe that nothing I have experienced or gone through on this journey called life was meant for me to keep to myself. Somewhere there is another woman who is experiencing or has experienced the very same things, thoughts, and feelings I have and it is my prayer that my story in some small way helps her to see that she too can come through. While at the same time giving God glory for his wondrous works. I appreciate you for stopping by and sharing in my journey as I try my absolute best to navigate it as smoothly as possible; even when I come across detours and bumps along the way. ~ Hotep

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