I love social media (i.e., Facebook). I really do. I stop short of calling myself a Facebook junkie, though some might disagree. But I really do enjoy Facebook. Of course I’m aware of other social media platforms such as Twitter. However, it took much longer for me to accept Twitter. I heard a lot about Black Twitter, but it wasn’t until earlier this year when I really began to investigate what Twitter was all about and now, dare I say, I love Twitter too! I follow people on Twitter that I don’t follow on Facebook. One such person is Dr. Antonio Borrello. Dr. Borrello is known as the @eDatingDr on Twitter and is providing me with tons of material for my blogs.
Today while perusing through Twitter I read a post by Dr. Borrello that said, “Seeking intimacy with someone who is emotionally unavailable is like talking on the phone without realizing your call dropped.” My jaw dropped because that was me! I was in a relationship with someone that was emotionally unavailable. Or better yet, would run hurriedly in the other direction when he felt that he was becoming too close. This was emotionally draining for me. In the beginning it left me confused. Sad. Bewildered. Had me thinking that something was wrong with me. Or I didn’t do something right. But then it happened a second and third time and it hit me…..it’s not me. It’s him!! He is afraid to allow himself to get close. He is afraid of losing control. And at any moment that he felt as though he were losing control, he would run. What a load off my shoulders. I was thrilled that it wasn’t me. But mad that no matter what I did he was never going to be emotionally available. He was never going to allow himself to be emotionally available. And no amount of romance, kindness, or anything else was going to change that. He was broken.
I saw a meme on Facebook that asked “Are you strong enough to love a broken man?” And many women professed proudly that they were. I say malarkey. Trying to love a broken man will take a woman out. It will deplete so much of her that she will have no idea if she is coming or going. In the words of Usher, “it’s like moving mountains.”
We (women) are often told that we have to love ourselves before any man will love us. And that is true. But ladies, that man also has to be whole before he will ever be ready to receive the love you have. Recognize that. And should you encounter a broken man, pray for him, but stop yourself from becoming involved or you too will be on that call that has long dropped but you have yet to realize it.