Monthly Archives: August 2017

Unwanted Touching



I had the pleasure of attending the 2017 Summer Spirit Festival at Merriweather Post Pavilion. I enjoyed musical concerts by some of my favorite old school artists such as Bell, Biv, Devoe; SWV, Babyface, and En Vogue. And learned about new artists like The Internet and Trombone Shorty who was phenomenal!! Also, representing the sound of DC were GO-GO legends EU and my all time favorite Trouble Funk. It was a great two day event that had the thousands that attended dancing, singing, and reminiscing. It was the first concert I had attended in almost five years and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

But of course there was that brief moment when I thought I was going to have to introduce one of the male concert goers to my alter ego. And this is really the point of this blog.

Let me begin by saying fellas, not every woman is open to being randomly touched by a man that she does not know. It may seem innocent enough to you, but I find it intrusive and would prefer that your hands be kept to yourself. I apologize if that sounds prudish or arrogant. I’m really none of those things. I do however find it disturbing that some men feel a sense of entitlement and thus think they can just touch and/or grab on a woman without being invited. As though the female body was designed for him to do as he pleases.

One male concert goer clearly had that sense of entitlement. Or maybe it was the alcohol he had obviously consumed. Whatever the case, there was about to be a situation at the festival that was not going to end well for one or both of us. Initially I thought his random touch was simply a gesture that connected us as we shared a laugh at a funny moment. However, his hands found their way to my body again, even though the moment had passed. I said nothing nor looked in his direction, until he touched me again. After the third time I glanced at him, looked down at his hand and then glanced back up at him. I thought (or maybe I was hoping) that my look would inform this gentleman that his touching was not welcomed. I was sadly mistaken. Said gentleman touched me yet again. At this point I could feel myself becoming perturbed. I don’t like to make a scene but I quickly saw in my mind this situation escalating to the point of security being notified and me and said gentleman being escorted off the premises. So I thought to myself, “Self, there are a few empty seats, just move.” Problem solved.  I continued to enjoy my evening and no arrests had to be made.

Maybe I’m different, but that really is a turn off for me. Afterwards I thought about a time in my 20s while at 32nd Street Plaza, a nightclub in Baltimore. I was with my girl Renee and we were doing what we do; dancing and having a great time. The music must have gotten real good to the gentleman I was dancing with because before I knew it his hands were on my body from my shoulders, stopping to cup my behind, and down my thighs and legs. And before he knew it I had dropped kicked him dead in his chest.  He was, as you can imagine, caught off guard.  But he also had the audacity to be angry at the fact that I kicked him.  My argument about his hands not belonging on my body fell on death ears.  He saw absolutely nothing wrong with it.  And so here we stood, in the middle of the dancing floor, toe to toe, going word for word because I was not backing down.  Eventually security came to deescalate the situation.  But it really just got me to wondering why do some men feel that they have the right to touch on a woman’s body without her consent?  Fast forward many years later and sadly the mentality still seems to be alive and well.

I continued to enjoy the concert.  I had no more problems out of said gentleman and I was thankful for that.  I really wish some men would have a little more respect for women and lose the mentality that our sole purpose in life is to pleasure them.  Wishful thinking I guess.